Mon, Oct. 31st, 2011, 07:01 pm
San Francisco Rant: Housing

My least favorite people in San Francisco politics are Willie Brown, Willie Brown's stooge Gavin Newsom (thankfully "promoted" to a meaningless office in Sacramento where he can't do much harm), and Randy Shaw, the great Poverty Pimp of the West.

Do I ever dislike these people! Together they have conspired to cement San Francisco as the ultimate Sanctuary City for the Rich. It is a city scrubbed of opportunity for anyone middle or working class. If you want to talk about a place with no room for the "99%", it is San Francisco. Of course, the city has a healthy supply of the chronically indigent, mentally ill, and drug addicted (presumably, the bottom 1%). These people constitute the reserve army of the professional Left; always available for a vote and completely dependent on services (many of which are outsourced for big $$$). You can move them around like chess pieces while painting yourself as a hero of the poor, and it is very remunerative. But aside from the (admittedly very visible) lowest rung of San Franciscans, everyone else in this town is pretty bourgeois, has lived here a long time (and can continue to, with the help of Prop 13 and/or rent control), or is not in good longterm housing. No middle-class family is going to settle down in a "roommate situation" with 5 strangers.

I would like to be a homeowner in this city. It's never going to happen unless I make a big heap of cash (or hit my dad up for a big heap of cash). The price of housing in San Francisco is absurd. I could make this a rant about Prop 13 (because it encourages people to hoard property, and drives up the price of real estate), or even make it a rant about rent control (because it generates an artificial scarcity in rental units and encourages landlords to rent vacant units at the highest price possible), but I won't. Both of those, for better or worse, have their purpose. I may read the Guardian a fair amount, but I'm not willing to lay all of California's problems at the feet of Prop 13 and lack of enforcement of the Raker Act. One thing that would help make San Francisco more affordable would be the introduction of large numbers of vacant units onto the market, but the city has done its best to make sure that never happens. When South Beach was redeveloped under Willie Brown, the city struck a deal with the developers to make sure that only a limited number of units hit the market at any one time, lest there be even a temporary glut in housing which might cause prices to drop. Everything in this town is sold at "market rate", which might as well be called "overseas Chinese rate", since that's who's buying it and living in it (a few weeks out of the year). All those big flashy towers in SOMA have done nothing to ease the city's housing problem, nor have they made the neighborhood any more interesting. It's still a freeway. Hey, remember that deal Chris Daly struck with the One Rincon developers to put money into an "affordable housing" fund instead of actually putting "affordable housing" in their tower? Do you know that they never put that money into the fund because it was contingent on them finishing their project? Fun fact, that!

If I were Grand Poobah of this town, I would Manhattanize large swaths of it (primarily the uninteresting parts), to the point that it caused the bottom to fall out of real estate prices and allowed a few people in the actual middle class to buy or rent here. I know, that is a very radical idea. But since people jealously hold on to their overly-inflated-and-completely-out-of-touch-with-reality "property value", it would never come to pass. San Franciscans' ability to interfere in just about anything the city does leads to a great demonstration of the Law of Unintended Consequences. Because building anything in San Francisco means being dragged through 3 years of public comment and letting every stupid neighborhood group have its say, any project that actually breaks ground will be guaranteed to be:
  • Sold at "market rate"
  • Stripped of anything interesting architecturally, so as to be maximally unoffensive
  • Built by the small handful of companies that have greased the political wheels here sufficiently to be able to do whatever they want
Wow. Democracy! There's a reason that all the newly-built parts of this city look like East fucking Berlin.

Let's talk about poor people now, and the people that exploit them. Randy Shaw, the head of the Tenderloin Housing Clinic, is almost singlehandedly responsible for destroying housing opportunity for the working poor. He makes a sizable salary off of housing the homeless via "Care not Cash" that enables him to live large in the Berkeley hills, far away from the wreckage he's caused. Housing these "homeless", by the way, doesn't take them off the streets during the day, since most of them are still crazy or hooked on drugs and have nothing better to do than sit around, panhandle, get high, and get into trouble. Meanwhile, the desperate souls penned up in his buildings are subject to constant entreaties from drug dealers and criminals, who are allowed to roam the halls for free since his entire staff is on the take. If an addict is truly determined to recover, almost nothing can stand in their way, but you can surely make it harder. Randy Shaw makes it damn near impossible. He fought the Power Exchange moving into the Tenderloin tooth and nail because they had the temerity to clean up the drug dealers off of their half of a block. What a charlatan. If you're ever walking the Tenderloin and wondering why it's such a crappy neighborhood, just remember: there's people making big bucks off of keeping it that way. And they're really smug about it, too...

There is no affordable housing for the poor in San Francisco. There used to be! The lowest rung of available housing used to be in SRO (Single Room Occupancy) units. Rooming hotels. Bed, sink. No shower, shared bathrooms. Likelihood of bedbugs: high. But if you were working poor or just getting back on your feet, they were your foot in the door in San Francisco. Thanks to programs like "Care not Cash", those rooms are now by and large reserved only for those who absolutely can not help themselves. Sorry! Randy Shaw saw money to be made! The city pays a fat lump sum (with almost no oversight) to the Tenderloin Housing Clinic (and other similar agencies) for the service of housing these people. Why rent rooms to the poor when you can just provide housing as a city service, and make a handy profit in the process? I know people who are homeless because they were not mentally ill enough to qualify for an SRO room. You can't just rent one, anymore, at a lot of these hotels. You have to enter The System, and The System is only interested in you if you're completely batshit crazy. At least one friend of mine was denied housing because he had the audacity to get and stay sober. Whoops! Perhaps he should have pursued "harm reduction" instead...

G-d help this place.

Sat, Jul. 2nd, 2011, 02:29 pm
How the fuck am I supposed to become a driver?

I had some nebulous plans to buy a car, which would mostly be used by my partner to commute to work. I would also learn to drive in this car and eventually get a license. My partner's credit is shot, so he's not buying a damn thing. My credit is impeccable. I am a great candidate for a loan.

Problems:
  • I can't get an auto loan unless I have insurance
  • I can't get insurance unless I have a license
  • I can't register the car unless I have insurance
  • I can learn to drive without insurance, but I can't take the driver's test unless I'm insured
It's like some Catch-22/Chicken and Egg scenario and I see no way around it.

It seems that the entire framework of auto-related laws and businesses is tailored towards people who grew up in the suburbs and learned to drive at 15. Whoops!

Fri, Jul. 1st, 2011, 01:26 pm
How I update my desktop

* 5-19 * * 1-5 /home/tehdely/local/bin/update-kellys.sh
#!/bin/bash

PIX=/home/tehdely/Pictures/OB-KC
NEW=${PIX}/new.jpg
WALL=${PIX}/wall.jpg
SEPIA=${PIX}/sepia.jpg

curl -f http://ob-kc.com/images/current_lg.jpg 2>/dev/null > $NEW
if [ -e $NEW ]; then
  if [ "$(md5sum $NEW | awk '{print $1}')" != "$(md5sum $WALL | awk '{print $1}')" -a -s $NEW ]; then
    mv $NEW $WALL 
    # Make sure it is bleak
    convert $WALL -modulate 75,20,66666 ${SEPIA}
  fi
fi

Tue, Apr. 5th, 2011, 04:37 pm
Larouche People: I am not worthy

I love trolls. I love political trolls. I've previously expressed my deep and abiding love for the Westboro Baptist Church.

Lyndon Laroucheites are pretty lol trolls. Much like Westboro, they truly believe in what they spout, and even more like Westboro, they take all antagonism from the public as evidence that they are right.

These guys set up shop outside the Bank of America branch on Fell Street. I was going there to do some mild-mannered banking and noticed a very distressed woman arguing with them. She had been trolled. She was definitely in the process of losing. I finished my banking and went home, then realized I needed to do more banking, so I returned, this time with a video camera! By this point she was walking down Broderick with her boyfriend, and she was crying. She lost. I hope she had a nice day.

I shot some video of the Larouchites and tried to antagonize them. At this, I failed horribly. I even used a technique that has proven very successful for Scientologists (another awesome band of trolls), which is to videotape my subjects while walking around them ominously. This typically makes people very uncomfortable! When that failed to raise their ire, I went into a tirade about how they were stepping on the turf of my local revolutionary Communist organization. I even tried to drop in a cheap shot or two about how Lyndon Larouche wanted to quarantine everyone with HIV in the 1980's. That also failed, and eventually I got tired and left. They won.

During this whole time, they were taping up their sign. Apparently, the angry (and visibly trolled) lady from earlier had torn it up in a fit of rage! They called her a fascist. I went into the bank to do my second bit of banking. When I returned, there were police there, disinterestedly taking a report about the sign-ripping "assault". Little did I know that this would hit the news today and be spun as an assault on an Obama supporter:.I am not worthy. What a brilliant meta-troll. The local media's comment sites are filling up with people classing this as either some sort of statement about Obama, or perhaps a liberal pulling a Tawana Brawley to feign victimhood. You idiots have all been trolled. Enjoy your vitriol.

I am voting Larouche. Here's some video of the aftermath. Do those look like Obama supporters to you?


AWESOME

Thu, Mar. 17th, 2011, 11:24 pm
Shipments of the Now

Sat, Jan. 15th, 2011, 08:21 pm
BAND MEME



1. Hit random on wikipedia.com. The page that comes up is your band name.

2. Hit random on quotationspage.com. The last 4 or 5 words of the LAST quote on the page make the album title.

3. Flickr.com - click on the last seven days link at the very bottom, then click on interesting photos from last seven days. The 3rd picture is your album cover.

4. MSPaint or Photoshop it and post in the comments.

Sat, Dec. 25th, 2010, 09:26 am
OH GOD THE HOLIDAYS

Suggestion: cool your boots

It's Christmas today, in case you haven't noticed. My family is in town. We are Juden, so we are going to celebrate Christmas in the traditional fashion by having some Chinese food with other Jews at Kung Pao Kosher Comedy. I believe the origin of this tradition is that Chinese restaurants are typically the only places open on Christmas, although in the Bay Area you never know.

Christmas out here is not really a religious holiday, and as a result way more people seem to practice it, at least the "spirit" of it. I'm still getting a handle on what that "spirit" is but I guess it involves family and shopping and giving and stuff. Neat. I'm really unfamiliar with that stuff, due to the brand of anti-assimilationism practiced by my dad, with which I was raised.

A lot of the Jews in our Chicago suburb would dress up Hannukah to look like Christmas, and give their kids lots of gifts so they didn't feel left out. We eschewed such simulacra. Hannukah was a religious holiday on which we got to eat potatoes. There were also candles that got lit. The week began, and then it ended. Just another week in the life.

I fell in love with a wonderful lapsed Episcopalian some 3-almost-4 years ago, and he's been slowly roping me into his family's traditions. They take the Holidays™ seriously, in the secular sense at least, and I have to say that spending time with family is pretty neat. They also keep giving me stuff. I can count on one hand the number of gifts I've given in my life. I've never sent a card. I don't have a clue about any of this. I'll have to start.

I feel like I'm losing something, like I'm "giving in". The programming of my past really turns on right around now and tells me to ignore everything, to plug my fingers in my ears and go IT'S JUST ANOTHER MONTH, FUCKERS. THE EARTH IS TURNING, DEAL WITH IT. I've always understood that Christmas was a pagan holiday. I don't have any worry that by taking part in festivities I'm going to be like back-doored into Christianity. Hell, I've been saying the Lord's Prayer a few times a week for a couple of years and that hasn't done it; what difference will a few gifts make?

I guess for me, part of the consciousness of being a Jew is being-apart-from. I get a certain sense of smug satisfaction out of it but I know that there have been times, especially around this part of the year, where I have just felt really alone and left-out. I find it interesting that when I just let a little bit of the spirit of the times seep in, a part of me definitely revolts, even as I am enjoying myself. The Jew meme is bizarre.

Mon, Nov. 8th, 2010, 09:42 am
Awesome Breakfast of Goodness


Awesome Breakfast of Goodness, originally uploaded by tehdely.

Note: bagel w/ salmon spread, anchovies, capers, and kalamata olives. Other bagel with butter and delicious Bolinas jam. Fage yogurt w/ walnuts and honey. Two bags PG tips, cream, honey. EDD continued claim form. IRC. Twitter.

Fri, Nov. 5th, 2010, 10:22 am
Big electoral whoop

I don't like GOP control of Congress, but I'm used to it. The last couple years of ostensibly Democrat control have felt like GOP control anyway, due to their overuse of the filibuster and "our"* unwillingness to change the rules.

I'm actually used to not getting what I want, period, unless it's a handout from my parents. I'm used to gay rights sitting on the backburner, except for when they're convenient for getting votes and/or donations. I'm used to the lack of universal healthcare. I'm getting pretty comfortable with corporate mega-control of our electoral process, since it frankly doesn't feel much different from corporate only-semi-kinda-control. Money is money. People still, surprisingly, vote their conscience some times. See: Meg Whitman's missing $140 million. Couldn't buy an election with that!

I'm so not interested in what all the other "progressives" seem to be up to at the moment, which is pointing fingers and whining. This is not to say I'm interested in unity. I'm not interested in unity, either. I'm just not too interested in having strong feelings about our politics, at least not right now.

I've realized that having those feelings mostly makes me useful to others, insofar as such feelings occasionally compel me to get involved in some race on someone's behalf, but frankly I'm tired of the work. I'm tired of donating money, canvassing, making phone calls, and trying to impress upon people the CRITICAL IMPORTANCE of whatever it is I'm trying to (get them to) do.

That all being said, this election revealed some interesting things. Mostly in California, which is all I'm going to talk about, since I've adopted the Californian myopia of not really caring about anything outside California, except when it affects California. Note to native Californians: I'm not from here but I'm trying so hard to adopt your character defects. I think I'm doing a pretty good job.

Propositions are interesting. People don't really seem to make up their minds on them until a week or so prior to the election, when they finally get around to reading their voter guides. This is why polling on propositions is useless. I didn't read my voter guides and do my research until the day of the election. With the exception of two props, I had no idea how I was going to vote. There's just too goddamn many of them to really keep them all in my head.

California has a couple of different strains of politics. It's very hard to divide the state along just conservative or liberal lines. There are various types of both, from the "tax me please" San Francisco-style progressivism to the Alpine environmentalism that occasionally shows up in the mountains but rarely coexists with the social libertinism that typically arises in Alameda county, some of which occasionally run alongside Howard Jarvis-style "tax me at risk of your life" fiscal conservatism as well as High Desert "look at me funny and you'll get a 2nd-amendment remedy" libertarianism. Most of this year's propositions tickled a few of these bones, resulting in some interesting maps, handily rendered by the Secretary of State's office.

The Prop 19 map is funny. It's actually pretty easy to read. All of the counties which are chock full of people who smoke pot voted yes. The counties that grow pot voted no. It's pretty easy to side with pot legalization when you smoke it all the time and realize it's not a crime. It's pretty easy to come down against it when you realize it'll destroy your bottom line and the economy of your entire county.

When it came to Props 20 and 27, San Francisco was truly seal contre tous. We have such faith in the legislative process that we actually want our legislators to draw our districts. How fucking quaint. I love it.

San Francisco types love government largesse. We believe in it. On Prop 22, we, along with Marin, were the only ones to approve of the existing arrangement wherein the state government can borrow from municipalities at will. On Prop 24, we were joined by Alameda and Santa Cruz counties (only) in our desire to tax business more. Everyone else seemed to have a pretty dim view of that idea.

Props 21 and 26 were about protecting the environment in some way or another, whether, in the former case, by taking more money from drivers to pay for state parks or, in the latter, by being able to continue assessing fees on polluting companies. In both cases, the liberal coastal cities were joined by Alpine county, home to lots of ski resorts and people who smoke pot but also own guns and drive four-wheelers. They like trees as much as we do, both the sticky and piney varieties, but they tend to not like gays.

Prop 25 was about common-sense breaking of government gridlock by allowing a simple majority to pass a budget, instead of the existing 2/3rds requirement, a Howard Jarvis victory when it was passed. The counties that voted against it are part of what I would call the "substantial distrust of government" bloc.

Prop 23 failed miserably. California will get to enforce our global warming law after all. Every now and then the state more or less joins together, and it's hard to qualify why a particular region voted a particular way. This is one of those cases.

I like the Howard Jarvis Taxpayers Association, by the way. Not "like" as in "agree with", but "like" as in "admire from afar", the same way I "like" Richard M. Stallman but also think he can be a batshit crazy, miserable human being. There is something to be said for Singleness of Purpose. As a general rule, I tend to use the HJTA's recommendations as my voting guide, since I simply just do the opposite of whatever they recommend. They don't have a recommendation on everything, though, because they are truly obsessed with just one issue: taxes. There is something to be said for that.

On a local level, it is interesting how 42% of San Franciscans voted yes on Prop B, which would have changed how municipal employees pay for health insurance (among other things). It was vehemently opposed by just about every local politician, union, and newspaper. You would think it would have failed by more. The next time it is proposed, it will probably pass.

Public employees and their unions will bankrupt California if we don't change the current arrangement. The fact that their benefits are starting to go up for public referendum is a sign of the future, when I expect their contracts themselves to start to go up for vote. The idea of state bureaucrats as bargaining partners is ridiculous, when you consider how easy it is to buy them off with union money. Eventually the public will be the bargaining partner, and I imagine we'll be a bit more stingy since we foot the bill.

I like unions (a lot), but public employee unions have no skin in the game. A private sector union which squeezes its employer too hard loses even harder when that employer closes its doors and lays off all of its employees; there is an incentive to not bite off more than one can chew. A state/city/county, on the other hand, can always just raise taxes and pass the burden onto me. This is why people who work for the government have such gold-plated benefits and salaries; there is no counterposing force keeping these things within reasonable limits.

Unions are supposed to be revolutionary, anyway, but in America the social power of labor has all been diverted into clamoring for more bread and circuses for workers lucky enough to be represented by one. Away with the current crop of unions!

I like this place a lot. It's the most fucked up place I've lived, outside of Israel, with which it shares a similar climate and lack of water resources. The two could be confused for each other at times. I'm a lifer. Sometimes you just find yourself somewhere so magical and filled with such interesting people that you're willing to find a way to make it work in spite of all of its flaws. I've basically married a state with a bunch of oozing staph sores, full-blown AIDS, and leprosy, but I'm willing to see beyond that for the beauty inside. Love you, California :)



* I'm not registered with any party, but more often than not I tend to vote for Democrats.

Sun, Oct. 24th, 2010, 09:32 pm
Places that have weather

There are places that have weather, and places that do not have weather.

Chicago is a place that has weather. The Bay Area does not. It has "seasons", insofar as there is both a foggy season and a rainy season, but it does not genuinely have weather.

I just walked from Boys Town to Old Town in the middle of a thunderstorm, with the sky lighting up every couple of seconds (accompanied by predictably loud booms) and intermittent bursts of heavy rain. People are walking around this very instant as if nothing remarkable is occurring, save for the fact that it is precipitating and discharging electricity. Some of these people even have weather-appropriate clothing, which they take on and off as necessary. I can guarantee that none of them is tweeting about it.

My Twitter feed has been blowing up all day because of rain. Rain is a noteworthy event in San Francisco, despite the fact that it predictably occurs for several months every year. Word has it that there are blackouts and BART is fucked up. I imagine there are pileups on the 101 and 280, and Python developers are probably microwaving their socks. This shit catches you people by surprise every year, and it's barely weather. IT'S JUST RAIN. Move to Chicago for a season and watch the sky turn green, and water come down so hard it feels like it will dent your helmet. Pussies.

Fri, Oct. 22nd, 2010, 11:36 pm
This test fails

I guess they didn't have a result for "you will sit around in San Francisco coffee shops until your trust fund runs out".

Career Inventory Test Results

Extroversion |||||||||||||||||||||||| 73%
Emotional Stability |||||||||||| 33%
Orderliness ||||||||| 23%
Altruism ||||||||| 26%
Inquisitiveness ||||||||||||||||||||| 63%

You are an Inventor, possible professions include - systems designer, venture capitalist, actor, journalist, investment broker, real estate agent, real estate developer, strategic planner, political manager, politician, special projects developer, literary agent, restaurant/bar owner, technical trainer, diversity manager, art director, personnel systems developer, computer analyst, logistics consultant, outplacement consultant, advertising creative director, radio/TV talk show host.
Take Free Career Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Fri, Oct. 8th, 2010, 02:31 pm
ATTENTION



21:24 <@solveew83> FIRST WE TAKE YOUR COOKIES
21:24 <@solveew83> THEN WE TAKE YOUR BUSINESS
21:24 <@solveew83> THEN WE TAKE YOUR WOMEN.
21:25 <@solveew83> BANTOWN

Fri, Oct. 1st, 2010, 01:25 pm

This was a mistake.

Mon, Jun. 28th, 2010, 01:22 pm
Keep your racism out of the Castro, please

The first real event of any sort that I attended when I moved to San Francisco was the Castro Halloween where 9 people were shot, leading to the end of officially-sponsored Halloween in the Castro. I left, by my estimate, about 5 minutes before the shooting, out of a mixture of boredom and concern that things were getting a bit too out of hand.

This Saturday I opted to avoid the "Pink Saturday" celebrations altogether. I've attended Pink Saturday in the past, and it definitely had its high points, but it was also marked by lots of public drunkenness and bad behavior. This year, my partner and I surveyed the scene on Church St. at 9 PM and chose to go up to Corona Heights and view the party from a distance, instead of heading into the thick of it. There was a full moon out and people were visibly intoxicated, bottles were being smashed, and things in general seemed headed towards a messy conclusion.

3 people were shot Saturday night, one of them fatally. I've witnessed, since then, something very similar to the fallout from the Halloween shootings; lots of people whinging about "bridge and tunnel" types ruining their good fun. By "bridge and tunnel", of course, we mean "young and African-American". Like the Halloween shooting, all of the parties involved were in fact from San Francisco, in this case from the Bayview neighborhood.

For those that may be unaware, Hunters Point/Bayview is a large neighborhood in a neglected corner of southeast San Francisco where you can find lots of superfund sites, air pollution, freeways, and low-income people of color. These people are San Franciscans, as much as we sometimes like to pretend that they aren't. They also like to enjoy themselves, sometimes in neighborhoods other than their own. There is not much going on in the Bayview, a legacy of decades of disinvestment and neglect. Large street parties attract young people who like to party, some of whom are going to come from areas like the Bayview.

Some of these people will come to the Castro. There were plenty of them evident on Saturday and Sunday night. Most of them were enjoying themselves responsibly. Some of them were drunk. One bad apple pulled out a gun and ruined an entire evening. I refuse to use this shooting to tar the entire black community in San Francisco with some sort of culpability. I am, frankly, tired of the thinly-veiled racism which permeates not only the comments section of every local newspaper (the Chronicle being a particularly bad example) but also my Facebook friends feed.

The Castro does not belong to gay people, nor does it belong to privileged white people. I find it funny that until a young black man shoots another young black man dead, nobody has found a bone to pick with the tone of celebrations in years past, which has included plenty of drunken and foolish behavior on the part of white people. Do white people have an exclusive right to get fucked up in public without black people "crashing" their party? How about the queer people of color, who get caught in the middle every time this "us-vs-them" bullshit rears its ugly head? I saw more queer people of color at Pride this year than I ever have before. It warmed my fucking heart, and frankly it's what pride is about.

Short of canceling the celebration altogether (i.e. "I'm taking my toys and running"), or instituting a regime of racial profiling at future events to make sure that the "wrong people" feel unwelcome or afraid to "step out of line", we are going to have to live with the fact that young African-Americans (and other people of color) want to enjoy themselves at street parties in the Castro. We should not only live with this fact; we should embrace it. Most everyone I saw was happy to be having a good time, and knew exactly where they were having it. I encountered little to no hostility as an openly gay man in San Francisco's gay neighborhood, despite the presence of straight people, some of whom were nonwhite.

If we are going to play hosts, let's play good hosts. And if we don't want a recurrence of Saturday night's shooting, we may want to ask the San Francisco police department why they were so lax on the countless open-container violations, public urinations, and fights which led up to the night's unfortunate conclusion. We may also want to take a look at our own behavior, and ask why it's so acceptable to get absolutely blotto in public. Demand for drugs attracts drug dealers; it may come out that one or both parties in the shooting were involved in this illicit trade. It may also come out that it was simply a gang battle that took place outside of its usual turf. Or perhaps it's none of the above, and we need to stop jumping to conclusions before the jury is out. How many people would have guessed someone like Dave Clark was responsible for the rampage on cyclists at the beginning of the month?

Please take a breath.

Mon, Jun. 7th, 2010, 10:43 pm
On cheating death and/or serious injury

Let me preface this by saying that I'm no stranger to injury, having had a few ER visits in the last few years, along with two ambulance rides. I seem to attract automobiles like a lightbulb attracts flies, although the trend tapered off in 2008. Here are three stories that make me feel unusually blessed. Make of them what you will.

I graduated from high school in 2001 and decided to defer enrollment in college for a year, having had absolutely no life skills to speak of. What made this possible was my sister's offer to move to New York and live with her, presumably with the intent that I would learn how to manage the basics of an urban existence (at which I utterly failed), or perhaps to distance myself from some habits and friends she found unsavory (at which she mostly succeeded, as long as I stayed in New York). We were supposed to drive out on September 9th, but I decided to go to a rave instead on the 8th, the aftereffects of which left me in no condition to face humanity or a long car ride, so she went by herself. My plan was to go find a job as a runner at NYMEX while I got on my feet. If it was anything like how I had found my previous runner job at the CME, this would have involved my going to the office of every firm I could find at the World Trade Center and dropping off a resume. Lucky me!

Two weeks ago I was breaking in my fabulously gay new surfboard at my favorite spot, Bolinas. After about 30 minutes of surfing alone in front of the channel, I decided that my board was insufficiently waxed and decided to head in and go put on a bit more. I got back into the water 20 minutes later, and had just started to paddle out when two other surfers (who had showed up in the interim) yelled "shark!" and we all went back in. From land, we watched a shark eat a baby seal for lunch in the precise spot where I'd been surfing, alone, only 30 minutes earlier. Lucky fucking me.

The first Wednesday of the month I attend a board meeting up on Cathedral Hill for a local service organization. It goes from about 7 PM to 9 PM. Normally, I like to follow this up by heading down to a spot in the Mission and joining some friends at a 10PM event. What makes this possible is my bicycle, and my route down to the Mission would take me down Gough, followed by a little jog across Market onto Valencia, then a left on 14th, then straight down Harrison to 24th. Done it many times. This particular Wednesday, I was feeling tired earlier in the day and decided to take MUNI to my board meeting and go straight home afterwards instead. That night, someone forgot to take his meds (or perhaps started taking the wrong ones) and went on a rampage, hitting four bicyclists, starting at about Harrison and 24th at 9:45 PM. Aren't I a lucky one?

Let's hope my luck doesn't run out.

lol dongs